Sunday 1 February 2009

TOO MANY BROKEN CARDS IN THE WORLD


Common, the bar on Edge Street in the Northern Quarter, is ace. Here's why; Like some shit Watchdog type thing, one NN monkey (namely me) mailed the nice Commoners to enquire about the new membership scheme. Below is the letter from said monkey, and then their smiling inducing reply.

It's actually better than most of the press releases we get from professional press release type people.
///////////////////////////////////////
howdi,

i am confused, you see, i have an orange membership card from a
couple of years ago and to be honest it means a lot to me.

i often use it to impress people, and girls dig it when the powerful
thing magiocally wavers the £2 entry fee while chumps stood outside
in the cold.

it is also ripped in half and stuck back together again with tape,
it's got character.

but i fear i don't know it's worth anymore, i turn up and they say
sorry it's £2 for members your card is worthless, and then they try
and sell me rum for cheap at the bar - which is great, i love rum.

but i'm just unsure as to what the hell is happening with this
membership jazz. please don't take my card away from me, i don't
want a new one. one day it'll be featured in a book or something.

i'm not sure i feel so super special anymore.

bestest regards,

sam, prince of fallowfield.

///////////////////////////////////////
Hello Sam

Ah, confusion reigns, but fear not: your card is still yours (and
yeah, they work a treat with the ladies).

Towards the end of last year we did some very high level research into
how many of our members were taking advantage of not having to pay the
£2 entry at weekends. Yes, we did a tally. What that tally showed us
was that on average 5 people a night were taking advantage of the 'no
door charge' perk. I'm sure you'll agree that's not to great a number
so we concluded that it wasn't really working as an incentive to get
people to come on a Friday and Saturday evening. So we decided to
change what the card gets you, one of our valued members.

Firstly we decided to extend the 10% discount on food and drink so
that it's valid all day and night every single day - just show your
card when you're ordering your babycham or whatever people are
drinking these days.

Secondly we decided to introduce the 'Members Only Prices' scheme
whereby every few months we pick a couple of drinks that seem popular
and sell them to members for £2.50 every Thursday, Friday and Saturday
after 9PM. At the moment it's bottle of Vedett lager and Sailor Jerry
and a mixer.

Thirdly we scrapped the the free entry partly because, as I mentioned
above, no bugger seemed to be taking advantage of the perk, but also
because we have new promoters for Fridays and Saturdays and they
wouldn't make anything if the place was full of members getting in for
nothing.

It was a difficult decision to make but we reckon it's the right one.
If not then we'll keep changing things until they're right.

You might not feel it but you'll always be super special to us.
///////////////////////////////////////
Awww, shucks.

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